Nightlight Posted July 7, 2010 Share Posted July 7, 2010 (edited) Lucrez la o pisa proprie si de cateva zile stau si scriu la versuri. Instrumentalul este aproape gata, dar as vrea o parere in legatura cu versurile. Piesa este metalcore-ish. Acestea sunt versurile, cu tot cu structura piesei. Guitar Intro Verse 1: Memories, have suffocated me Left nothing more to say Revenge, so sweet but out of reach Once you crossed the bridge Pre chours (instrumental) Chorus: Soon it will be better, like a heart for war No more pain and anger, like I've seen before Soon it will be better, like a heart for war No more pain and anger, like I've seen before Verse 2: Time, has passed it's still the same We bare the same old scars All these thoughts inside your head Drive you closer to your grave Instrumental Breakdown Bridge: In this corner of your nightmare The past come back to life Past the point of no return You deeds are traded for your life Guitar Solo Chorus: Soon it will be better, like a heart for war No more pain and anger, like I've seen before Soon it will be better, like a heart for war No more pain and anger, like I've seen before Verse 3: Again, I wonder through the maze Can't see just past my eyes Confused and scared by the Prospect to relive. Pre chours (instrumental) Chorus: Soon it will be better, like a heart for war No more pain and anger, like I've seen before Soon it will be better, like a heart for war No more pain and anger, like I've seen before ---------------------------------------------------------- PS: Niciodata nu sunt total multumit de versurile/piesele pe care le fac, asa ca tot timpul lucrez la ele, dar aceasta este cea mai noua versiune a lyrics-urilor, si as vrea un sfat, o idee, o parere. Merci. Edited July 7, 2010 by Nightlight Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Baumwolle Posted July 7, 2010 Share Posted July 7, 2010 Intre subiect si predicat nu se pune virgula. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nightlight Posted July 7, 2010 Author Share Posted July 7, 2010 Daca te referi la bucatile gen "Memories, have suffocated me", am pus virgula mai mult ca sa imi dau eu seama cum o sa despart cuvintele cand le cant Nu am tinut neaparat de reguli gramaticale din moment ce nu imi va verifica profa caietul dupa Dar merci. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ramurel Posted July 7, 2010 Share Posted July 7, 2010 (edited) Intre subiect si predicat nu se pune virgula. Cred cã a dorit doar sã arate cã acolo este un spațiu, o micã pauzã de timp în cântec (la virgula de la versuri te refereai...). Aºa a mi-a pãrut piesa gânditã. Nightlight, cred cã ar fi fain dac-ai pune câteva power-chords aici, ca sã ne dãm seama, altfel .... Na, c-ai scris înaintea mea...Pânã m-am "strofocat" io sã scriu ai ºi postat... Edited July 7, 2010 by ramurel Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nightlight Posted July 7, 2010 Author Share Posted July 7, 2010 (edited) Hehe. Acordurile sub strofa sunt F5, F5, G5, E5. Chiar acuma lucrez la inregistrare. Structura este aproape gata in Fruity Loops. Dupa aceea urmeaza sa o export intr-un alt editor, din moment ce nu sunt foarte priceput in FL inca, si o sa pun partile de chitara. Apoi de voce. Edited July 7, 2010 by Nightlight Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ramurel Posted July 7, 2010 Share Posted July 7, 2010 (edited) Hehe. Acordurile sub strofa sunt F5, F5, G5, E5. Mã refeream ca gen... E metal, e blues sau e Polka ? Am vazut acum. Metalcore. Scuze ! Edited July 7, 2010 by ramurel Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nightlight Posted July 7, 2010 Author Share Posted July 7, 2010 Am scris la primul rand sus Este metalcore. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nightlight Posted July 7, 2010 Author Share Posted July 7, 2010 (edited) Ok deci um 7 posturi pe topic, si inca nici o parere? Anyone? Oops, sus era "The past comes back to life" nu "come" Edited July 7, 2010 by Nightlight Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ramurel Posted July 7, 2010 Share Posted July 7, 2010 Time, has passed it's still the same We bare the same old scars All these thoughts get you closer to tame Releasin' the beast out'your heart See the shadow of your nightmare The past come back from the night Waving the sword thru the vengeance You deeds are traded for your life Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nightlight Posted July 7, 2010 Author Share Posted July 7, 2010 (edited) Interesanta propunere pentru verusuri ramurel (vezi ca acolo era comes back, nu come back, am corectat mai sus) S-ar putea sa folosesc ceva din ele in versiunea finala. Acum tocmai am terminat de inregistrat instrumentalul. A iesit mai bine decat ma asteptam Lol acuma vad cate litere am mancat scriind repede. Si nu am apucat sa corectez "out of sight" nu "out of sigh" hehe PS: La bridge am facut o modificare dupa ce am postat: Uite strofa 1 cu influenta de la ramurel, si bridge-ul deja modificat: Verse 1: Memories, have suffocated me Left nothing more to say Revenge, helps you to tame The beast inside your heart Bridge: In this corner of your nightmare The past comes back to life Past the point of no return You deeds are out of sight off graba asta Edited July 7, 2010 by Nightlight Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nightlight Posted July 7, 2010 Author Share Posted July 7, 2010 (edited) Merci pentru feedback dudu Revenge, so sweet but out of reach Once you crossed the bridge am schimbat-o la Revenge, helps you to tame The beast inside your heart o sa modic la helps you tame Greselile astea mici sunt facute deoarece le-am scris repede la tastatura. Din aceasta cauza am mai mancat si litere pe ici, pe colo. past my eyes eventual o sa schimb cu "before my eyes" In mare versurile nu am vrut sa urmeze neaparat o idee anume, o poveste. La refren, nu are vreo legatura neaparat, dar imi place cum suna Edited July 7, 2010 by Nightlight Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ramurel Posted July 7, 2010 Share Posted July 7, 2010 In mare versurile nu am vrut sa urmeze neaparat o idee anume, o poveste. La refren, nu are vreo legatura neaparat, dar imi place cum suna Eu cred ca la genul ãsta muzical , nu trebuie neapãrat o linie cursivã a ideii. Mai de efect cred cã este sã foloseºti cuvinte care sã "zdrobeascã" urechea. Puternice , zdrrrrobitoare ! "Crrrushing effect" ! Chiar dacã ies uºor din rimã. Cel puțin mie îmi plac aºa. Sã ți se facã pielea de gãinã pe mâini, sã ți se ridice pãrul de pe ºira spinãrii ! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nightlight Posted July 7, 2010 Author Share Posted July 7, 2010 De acord cu tine Ramurel Am incercat sa fac niste piese care sa urmeze o poveste, dar pe metal, nu imi ies :/ Am plecat la alergat ^^ Poate imi mai vine vreo idee hehe. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest JunkMAN25 Posted July 7, 2010 Share Posted July 7, 2010 "suna" bine versurile , dar sunau si mai bine daca le gaseai o rima ceva. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
caius Posted July 7, 2010 Share Posted July 7, 2010 De ce in engleza? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nightlight Posted July 7, 2010 Author Share Posted July 7, 2010 @ JunkMAN25: Merci O sa tin asta in minte. Versiunea asta nu este ultima. Probabil o sa mai modific cate ceva. De ce in engleza? 1) la anu plec in UK 2) mereu mi s-a parut ca suna mai frumos engleza Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Nihilistul Posted July 7, 2010 Share Posted July 7, 2010 (edited) Soon it will be better, Heaven in our souls No more pain and anger, like I've seen before The time will lead us trough and help us fill the holes And help us leave behind the deepest scars and gore Zic si io... Edited July 7, 2010 by Nihilistul Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nightlight Posted July 7, 2010 Author Share Posted July 7, 2010 "And help us leave behind the deepest scars and gore" Uu, I like that one ^^ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sthell Posted July 8, 2010 Share Posted July 8, 2010 and the devil inside deeply burns when i wear prada. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ramurel Posted July 8, 2010 Share Posted July 8, 2010 (edited) Cum mai stai ? Adunã adnotãrile ºi scrie ultima versiune completã sã mai dãm cu pãrerea... ªi nu uita , neapãrat când scoți albumul , mãcar pe spatele CD-ului, ceva gen "I'd like to thanks to my RGC friends ...". when i wear prada. Porți ºi tocuri cumva ? Nici un rocker adevãrat nu poartã Prada... Cred cã ți-a rãmas de la filmul cu "Devil wear Prada". Un rocker adevãrat poarta doar haine din piele, ºi dacã se poate, din piele chiar de el jupuitã de pe bietul animal... Edited July 8, 2010 by ramurel Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tintin Posted July 8, 2010 Share Posted July 8, 2010 mai bine itzi cautzi o prietena si lasi versurile astea si te apuci de altele mai happy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nightlight Posted July 8, 2010 Author Share Posted July 8, 2010 (edited) @ ramurel: Inca mai lucrez. O sa postez eventual maine ultima versiune. @ Sthell: hehe @ Tintin: Ce-mi tre prietena Edited July 8, 2010 by Nightlight Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest SHAFT Posted July 8, 2010 Share Posted July 8, 2010 eu as vrea sa te aud cum canti versurile astea ) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
apocalipsa Posted July 9, 2010 Share Posted July 9, 2010 Intre subiect si predicat nu se pune virgula. nu asculta marii lingvisti, poti pune virgula dupa orice. daca chiar asa VREI. nu e neaparat ca versurile sa aibe logica. daca totul ar avea logica ne-am duce drq. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nightlight Posted July 9, 2010 Author Share Posted July 9, 2010 Instrumentalul este gata. Mai sunt de facut cateva retusuri si trebuie sa termin de mixat cum stiu mai g bine. Dupa aceea o sa pun vocalul. Sper sa iasa frumos piesa Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nightlight Posted July 9, 2010 Author Share Posted July 9, 2010 Am pus aici instrumentalul piesei. Inca mai mixez la el si mai sunt de facut retusuri dar asta este versiunea ei pe moment Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Metabog Posted July 11, 2010 Share Posted July 11, 2010 Trebuie sa folosesti mai multe cuvinte care incep cu 'd', cea mai brutala litera. Decay. Death. Damnation. Devil. Darkness. Diseased. Deranged. Defiled. Dominated. Dentist. http://www.homestarrunner.com/sbemail141.html Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nightlight Posted July 11, 2010 Author Share Posted July 11, 2010 Trebuie sa folosesti mai multe cuvinte care incep cu 'd', cea mai brutala litera. Decay. Death. Damnation. Devil. Darkness. Diseased. Deranged. Defiled. Dominated. Dentist. http://www.homestarrunner.com/sbemail141.html Nice advice. Bestial filmuletul xD Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mimesis Posted July 11, 2010 Share Posted July 11, 2010 (edited) Trebuie sa folosesti mai multe cuvinte care incep cu 'd', cea mai brutala litera. Decay. Death. Damnation. Devil. Darkness. Diseased. Deranged. Defiled. Dominated. Dentist. http://www.homestarrunner.com/sbemail141.html Dentist +1 ) Cat despre versuri tie tre sa iti placa ca eu tare banui ca nu cauti succes comercial cu piesa asta. Edited July 11, 2010 by Mimesis Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nightlight Posted July 11, 2010 Author Share Posted July 11, 2010 Cat despre versuri tie tre sa iti placa ca eu tare banui ca nu cauti succes comercial cu piesa asta.smile.gifrespect.gif Hehe merci. Nu caut sa mor de foame, dar nici sa devin vreun pop star Piesa cu tot cu vocal este aproape gata, o sa o pun la inregistrari cand o termin, Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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