What does it really take to become a planet-humping guitar hero?

[Guest _ManiA_]

Theese are the things we need:

 

Guitar

Jack Daniels (optional)

Amplifier

Plectrums

Cd Player

Absurd Hair

Multi-FX

Army of Groupies

Tattoos

A Band (they'll take your cigarretes. They'll set you garage on fire. They'll sue you over the unpaid royalties over 20 years. But for all that everybody needs bandmates.)

 

Thing's We Defenetly WON'T need:

 

GIRLFRIEND

 

(Picture the scene. You your band mates and the open road. Everyone's wearing sunglases. Led Zeppelin's Physical Graffiti blares out from the tourbus stereo and, from a cracly transistor radio in one of the bunks, the dj has just announced your album's hit no one in the chart's. Then there's a jab in the ribs. It's YOUR GIRLFRIEND. She hasn't come all that way to see you just to be ignored. So...Put down that Les Paul, finish the postcard for your aunt and give her a proper cuddle. No, not in a minute - NOW!

[Cosu]

Sounds like hair metal (or glam )

 

Sunt de parere ca asta ar trebui sa mearga la generalitati (fiind o chestie mai mult de filosofie )

[Guest _ManiA_]

si cum o mut?

[NiNjA]

Originally posted by _ManiA_

 

Thing's We Defenetly WON'T need:

 

GIRLFRIEND  

Valeu lasa-ma ca eu am nevoie. Sa vedem ce iese...

[cearny]

Funny

 

Army of Groupies = Army of Groupettes

[NiNjA]

-How do you make a guitarist's eyes light up?

-Shine a flashlight in his ear.

 

-What's the range of a Gibson Les Paul?

-Depends on how far you throw it.

 

-Why are so many guitarists jokes one liners?

-So the rest of the band can understand them.

 

-What's the difference between a guitar player and a bag of garbage?

-The garbage gets taken out at least once a week.

 

-What's black and blue and laying in a ditch?

-A guitarist who's told one too many drummer jokes.

[NiNjA]

Late one day a local pub saw six guys walk in, obviously in pairs of two, sit down and order their favorite after-work drinks.

 

The first two to seat themselves and be served by the bartender were two guys working at a major university whose I.Q.s were so high they could hardly be measured! They began discussing from Quantum Mechanics to the fine points of Particle Physics, either one as brilliantly as the other.

 

The bartender then went over to the next pair who were "regular guys" with ordinary jobs, with average I.Q.s, schmoozing about how hard it was today to keep up with bill payments, how high taxes were, how corrupt politicians were and all the day-to-day struggles most everyone has.

 

The last two the bartender served were two very badly educated, ill-mannered dolts with very low I.Q.s that could barely be measured on any I.Q. test. As soon as they'd ordered the bartender overheard one say to the other, "Oh, hey, I meant to ask ya, d'you use flat wound or round wound on your bass?"

[NiNjA]

A guitar player comes to the doctor and complains about a serious deterioration of his memory. He especially has a hard time remembering correct changes and is afraid to lose all his gigs. Since the doctor can't find the cause, he asks the guitarist to leave behind his brain for a week in his lab for more detailed examinations.

 

After seven days the guitar player fails to show up, and even after 2 more weeks there's no sign of him. Finally the doctor runs into him on the street, grabs him and asks: "Excuse me, but your brain is still waiting for you to stop by and pick it up, so why don't you show up?"

 

The guitarist says, "Well, I think you can keep it; I finally switched to bass..."

[NiNjA]

A man gives his son an electric bass for his 15th birthday, along with a coupon for four bass lessons. When the son returns from his first lesson, the father asks, "So, what did you learn?"

 

"Well, I learned the first five notes on the E string." Next week, after the second lesson, the father again asks about the progress, and the son replies, "This time I learned the first five notes on the A string."

 

One week later, the son comes home far later than expected, smelling of cigarettes and beer. So the father asks: "Hey, what happened in today's lesson?"

 

"Dad, I'm sorry I couldn't make it to my lesson; I had a gig!"

[NiNjA]

Asta-i tare :P:P

 

A tour manager comes across the guitarist and bass player fighting at the side of the stage and pulls them apart asking what the problem was.

 

"That bastard detuned one of the strings on my bass", says the bass player, "And we're on stage in five minutes."

 

"So what's the problem?", asks the tour manager.

 

"He won't tell me which string it was he detuned", said the Bassist.

[NiNjA]

What's the difference between Rock music and a machine gun?

The machine gun only repeats 10 times per second.